Man ruining married life by working boring and busy job
  • | October 5, 2016
When you are both a professional with a career and a husband with a family, it can be a bit challenging to balance your work life with your marriage. You may find yourself dwelling on a comment your boss made or thinking about particularly annoying co-workers when you should be spending valuable time with your spouse. It's natural for there to be some overlap between your career and your family, but how do you know when the balance has shifted in a negative way, resulting in your marriage taking the backseat in your life?

Here are the top 5 tell-tale signs that it's time to make a change to your work/family balance:

  1. You always put your work obligations first. If you're constantly getting stressed with work tasks to the point where you reject invitations to events and spending time with your family, you will create tension in your relationship. There may be days when you absolutely need to do your work first or can't get out of a particular job function, but make a point of keeping track of how much time you've spent at your office each week compared to how much time you've spent at home. Remember: you're trying to achieve a balance, which means finding ways to be involved in both your work and your family without being neglectful of either.

  2. Your feel overly tired when you come home. When you are a workaholic and spend too many hours in the office, you will begin feeling tired and worn out by the time you get home. If this happens on a regular basis, this is a sign you are overworking yourself, likely at the expense of your family life. Some days, this work fatigue will be inevitable – everyone has busy days. But if this is becoming a consistent pattern in your life, it's time to consider what changes you can make to lessen the impact of this issue. Sleeping soundly in the evening, having a healthy diet, and taking breaks during the day can all help contribute to more efficient work that will leave you with enough energy to spend time with your spouse and family when you get home.

  3. Work issues are your only topic of discussion with your spouse. If you constantly bring up the subject of work with your partner, you are missing out on other meaningful conversation topics, and your spouse will start becoming disinterested in your work stresses. Odds are that you've thought about or experienced at least one thing in your day that wasn't work-related and can be used to initiate a different conversation. Not to mention your spouse had an entire day of her own she'd likely be interested in discussing with you. Be present, respectful, and compassionate when having conversations with your spouse to ensure that, even if you don't see each other all day, you're still invested in each other's lives.

  4. Your spouse has started dropping hints she needs your attention. If your spouse has started coming up with excuses to get you to spend more time with her, it’s possible she feels neglected due to your work. If your partner suggests a movie date, a weekend away, or a romantic evening in, pay attention. The worst thing you can do is brush off her requests as hypothetical or pointless chatter. You've probably already sensed that your work/life balance has been a bit askew, so when your spouse suggests going out to dinner one evening, make the time for her.

  5. You cancel plans or show up late to family events. Work can encourage you to cancel plans or arrive late to personal obligations for a variety of reasons. Maybe an impromptu meeting was scheduled or maybe you're too exhausted to feel up to going to a family gathering. Regardless of the reason, it's important to uphold your personal and familial obligations, even if you have to miss a meeting or be a little tired at your brother's engagement party. Making time for family and friends doesn't mean you are a less dedicated or diligent worker; in fact, your ability to balance these two aspects of your life effectively can be proof of your skills at multitasking. Whatever the situation, always keep the commitments you make to family.

If you let the issues listed above take hold of your life, you will create a great deal of tension in your relationship, causing your partner to start feeling neglected and uneasy. If you don’t want to risk ruining your marriage, make an effort to spend less time and energy in your work, and dedicate more time to your spouse and family. A happy life is a well-rounded life, and if your family sees you putting in the effort to prioritize them above your career, they'll feel more important and respected as individuals in your life.

Good luck!