Complimenting your wife is something completely different than complimenting a date or a recent girlfriend. It’s different than complimenting any other friend or acquaintance, really. This is because your wife’s been with you for quite some time now – basically anything beyond a couple years of marriage changes the game entirely.
So what’s the trick to it? Well, for starters, almost none of the clichéd lines you’d give to a date will work with your wife, unless the intention is to merely make her laugh. She’s heard them all, and she’s not interested in them. Your wife views you like a partner, as her closest confidant, and that's who she’s looking for attention from. That’s why the best compliments you can give your wife are the personal ones, the ones that can’t be taught via the Internet but come from your intimate knowledge of her needs and insecurities.
That being said, there are, of course, some basic things that virtually all wives would appreciate in most situations (unless you’ve already driven them mad and you’re just trying to patch things up – see here to learn how to deal with moodiness):
Good luck!
So what’s the trick to it? Well, for starters, almost none of the clichéd lines you’d give to a date will work with your wife, unless the intention is to merely make her laugh. She’s heard them all, and she’s not interested in them. Your wife views you like a partner, as her closest confidant, and that's who she’s looking for attention from. That’s why the best compliments you can give your wife are the personal ones, the ones that can’t be taught via the Internet but come from your intimate knowledge of her needs and insecurities.
That being said, there are, of course, some basic things that virtually all wives would appreciate in most situations (unless you’ve already driven them mad and you’re just trying to patch things up – see here to learn how to deal with moodiness):
- Show gratitude. A date wouldn’t care much if you thank her for something small and insignificant because what she’s looking for is to be wooed. A wife loves gratitude and loves to be thanked. Being appreciated matters to her the same way it matters to you. So the next time you think, “Hmm, that thing she made/cooked/created/did is quite good/tasty/cool/kind,” tell her.
- Confess your love. A lot of guys just don’t feel the need to say this very often. They’ve told their wife they love her, they've married her, and they're still with her – it’s obvious they love her. What more does she want? Well, she wants to hear it. Especially today, in an age of dysfunctional marriages, positive confirmation – reminding her you love her – is extremely important.
- Compliment her looks. When you live with someone, you witness all their physical states, not just their “make-up” state. This is why complimenting your wife’s looks is much more important than complimenting a date’s looks. A date knows she’s beautiful – she’s spent two hours making sure of it. But complimenting your wife when she’s home, dressed casually, and hasn’t done anything particular for her looks that day means much more.
- Focus on the small things. Consider the little things you love about her. You love her intelligence. You love her scent. You love her laugh. You love her eyes. But saying "I love you" is not enough to convey all those small things you appreciate. Finding ways to remind her of the things that attract you to her outside of the physical not only shows your love but also shows you still notice those things. If after five, ten, fifteen, or fifty years of marriage, you still notice and love her eyes, it shows you're being genuine.
- Acknowledge her friendship. After several years of marriage, you both learn it’s more than just a romantic relationship, more than just love. You realize that, in many aspects, your friendship is actually stronger than your romance. Remind her of this. Make sure she knows you don’t only love her, but you view her as your closest friend, as the most important person in your life, and even the one you’d take a bullet for.
Good luck!
