Nothing lasts forever. Your girlfriend has turned into an ex-girlfriend. Regardless of who’s fault it is you may be forced to deal with them as an ex and that can be difficult, hurtful, and awkward at times. Breaking up is never a pleasant thing which is why we’ve put together these 6 tips to dealing with an ex for you to draw on the next time you realize you’re both invited to the same wedding or other situations.
Dealing with an ex can be an unpleasant experience. We’ve all been there. With time, things inevitably get easier. It’s always best to avoid awkward encounters and move on with your life but when circumstances make that impossible, these tips will help guide you through it.
Good luck.
- Whenever possible, take the high road. Maybe the breakup was ugly. Was there yelling? Shouting? Items being thrown from a window? That’s behind you now and it’s time to move on with your life. If you have to interact with your ex for some reason: be the bigger man, so to speak. You may want to rip her eyes out right then and there but ask yourself: what’s the point of getting into it? If you’re at the same event be short and polite and move on. Keep conversation to a minimum as any number of things can lead right back to things being thrown from a window. Take the high road.
- Don’t badmouth her to the kids. If there are kids involved: keep them out of it. Whatever issues the two of you had, so long as they don’t directly affect her ability as a parent, keep your badmouthing and griping to your buddies and internet vent boards (link here?). Remember, no matter what happened, that’s still their mother you’re talking about. You may hate her but it shouldn’t be important to you that your children do too. Also, if you force kids to take sides you may not like the side they choose.
- Involve Police if Necessary. As men we pride ourselves on handling our own #$%& but sometimes it’s important to involve the authorities if only to get things on the record just in case. If your ex is stalking you, threatening you, showing up and ruining other dates, etc. it may be time to involve the authorities. If you suspect she’s unhinged, then it may be more important because she may need professional help.
- Don’t drag mutual friends into it. Like kids, mutual friends are in the difficult position of being connected to both of you. Sides are inevitably going to be taken and you may not like what side some of them wind up on. If you screwed up the relationship, own up to it, accept whatever happens, and move on. Regardless, don’t make every night out a gripe fest because they’ll be sick of hearing about it after a while.
- Leave spite at home. Don’t buy anything, show up at anything, or flaunt anything just to spite her. That’s petty. You’re out of high school, right? Like tip #1, ask yourself “what’s the point?” Did you RSVP to a wedding as a couple a few months back and now it’s time to decide if you’re still going? Unless it’s your best friend’s wedding or a family member, odds are you didn’t want to go anyway so bow out and let her be the one to go. Don’t show up just to spite her and make things uncomfortable. You will never come off looking good if you do this.
- Move On. Things end. Maybe it’s your fault. Maybe it’s hers. If it’s hard for you, talk it out with close friends or family members. If it’s really hard for you, see a therapist. In any case, relationships end. Move on with your life. No one ever laid on their deathbed wishing they’d dwelled on the past more.
Dealing with an ex can be an unpleasant experience. We’ve all been there. With time, things inevitably get easier. It’s always best to avoid awkward encounters and move on with your life but when circumstances make that impossible, these tips will help guide you through it.
Good luck.
