Friendship Tips
  • | October 5, 2016
If you are reading this, then chances are, you already have a friend who can’t seem to balance out their friendship and relationship roles and duties and starts ditching you for the sake of their relationship. In most young adult male friendships, it’s always buddy time that comes first but if your friend spends way more time with their gf than you, there is not much you can do it about it but there are a few key things you may consider to help save your friendship.

  1. Be patient, especially if their relationship is new. Like most relationships, things are much more intimate and sparkly when the relationship is new and perhaps you need to give your friend some time to adjust to their new status before resuming your friendship.  In many cases, this is a phase that will pass and your friend will eventually come around—it might not be on the frequency and intimacy as before since they have a partner that occupies much of their time,­- but at least they will spend some time with you.

  2. Don’t try to confront them or make them feel bad about it.  You may share many close friendship moments, but ultimately, you can dictate their life decisions—even if that means spending less time with you.  You may get them to hang out with your more, but in the back of your mind, you’ll  start wondering whether they really do want to hang out with you or do so out of guilt or a sense of duty—and this is rarely a good thing.

  3. Show them you are happy and that you are always there for them in case they need anything. You may not be on the same page relationship-wise, but if you have been through relationships yourself you know that a buddy’s support and advice can really prove out to be valuable when relationship troubles arise. If your friend for example experiences any issues with their gf, let them know that they can always lean on you for support.

  4. Organize a hang out together with your partners. If you also happen to be in a relationship,suggest that you all hang out somewhere with your partners e.g. a restaurant or a night out clubbing.That way, you’ll get to both spend time together without neglecting your partners—it is a win-win situation for all.

In any case, try to respect your friend’s decision and don’t try to make it a deal, unless they really start neglecting and disrespecting you, after many years of close friendship.  If a significant amount has passed and they still ignore you, then it’s time to cut your losses and simply move on without any expectations.

Good luck.