Getting Rid of Partner Insecurities
You may or may not agree, but some experts say love alone isn’t enough to keep a relationship going. Other elements like communication, trust, understanding, maturity, compromise, cooperation, faithfulness, respect, and love-making all play an essential role for a relationship’s success. A lack of one or more of these factors could cause a partner to become insecure, jealous, or clingy. Before this starts to erode you relationship, it's important to try to find ways to help her overcome the negative thoughts she may be having.

Here’s what you can do to ease your partner's mind and eliminate those insecurities:

  1. Ask yourself if you're part of the problem. It can't hurt to take stock of your own behavior. It might surprise you to find you have been unwittingly thoughtless with your words and actions. When you break simple promises, talk about your former girlfriends, or poke fun at your partner in public, you’re feeding her insecurities. Try to be honest with yourself, and take responsibility for your actions. If you discover you're contributing to her insecurities, ask your partner what you can do differently, and focus first on changing your own behavior.

  2. Accept the that your partner’s feelings are real. This is not the time to dismiss her feelings or assume this is a game she’s playing. While you may not understand or be able to empathize with her feelings, you should accept they are playing a role in her insecurities. The first step in acknowledging her feelings is simply to ask her what she is feeling. Don’t offer quick solutions, argue her feelings are invalid, or become defensive if she suggests you may be part of the problem. Just listen and accept her insecurities as fact.

  3. Gauge the seriousness of her insecurities. Sometimes a little insecure behavior can be a plea for more attention. This is easily remedied with a display of love and affection. If the insecurities are more serious than that, there may be little you can do to fix the problem. The issues may run deeper than your relationship, and it's important to be honest with each other about when professional help may be needed.

  4. Reassure her. You should be willing and prepared to stand by her side as she addresses her insecurities. Whether her self-doubt is something easily manageable by a bit of focused attention or something larger that requires the support of a professional, let her know you will support her and the process to better her self-esteem, no matter how she goes about achieving it. The fact that you're staying in her corner through this troubling time will help her to feel secure in your relationship and make it easier for her to address and remedy other issues of insecurity she's facing.

  5. Be honest and communicate. Regardless of the cause, these insecurities are affecting you, as well. It's not selfish or wrong to communicate the impact it is having on your life. You should be open and honest about your relationship and if the insecurities are posing a real threat. This doesn't mean you should start placing blame on each other – you've each likely played your own role here. But if you communicate openly about your own needs and concerns, you'll be ready to do your part in the healing.

Insecurities are unique to each individual and can’t be solved with one cookie-cutter approach.  The tips provided here are a starting point to getting on track to a healthier mind, but they don’t pretend to provide the entire solution. If you find that the thought processes behind your partner's issues are more complex than you can handle alone, we recommend seeking out professional help or digging deeper into the topic with the resources listed below.

Good luck!