The word “compromise” isn’t always in the “man dictionary.” Often we’re quite convinced that it’s our way or the highway and that’s that. Well, it’s a new world, guys, and you might have to quickly add that word to your vocabulary.
Compromising can actually be a great communication tool and a relationship building experience for couples and believe it or not guys, it doesn’t hurt. Whether you’ve been speaking the compromise language for months or you’re a newcomer to the idea, here are 6 tips to help you learn how to give a little in the old “give and take.”
Good luck.
Compromising can actually be a great communication tool and a relationship building experience for couples and believe it or not guys, it doesn’t hurt. Whether you’ve been speaking the compromise language for months or you’re a newcomer to the idea, here are 6 tips to help you learn how to give a little in the old “give and take.”
- Learn to pick your battles. What are we talking about? Where to send your kid to college or where to go for dinner? Consider how important this decision is to you as well as her and learn to pick your battles. Some things are just not worth fighting over. Sometimes it takes a bigger man to know when to give in.
- Remember it’s not a sign of weakness. As a man, even a “man’s man,” it’s not a sign of weakness to acquiesce on occasion. It doesn’t make you a wimp. A relationship is like a partnership and the other partner’s feelings are every bit as valid as yours. Consider this if your default reaction is to argue or be defensive about things, even when you know you don’t have a leg to stand on. Are you really firm in your beliefs or are you firm in your desire to not want to appear weak? Remember, giving in and giving up are not the same thing.
- Remember the strongest couples compromise. Compromising, like relationships, is not about “winning.” Rarely does anyone ever really “win” an argument. You know those couple friends of yours who have rock solid relationships? They compromise. Not only that, they consider each other’s feelings and communicate well. Compromising is part of it. There’s no shame in talking things through when needed.
- Make a deal out of it. If you hate doing dishes and she hates taking out the trash, then make a deal on who does what. It’s a great way to get done the things that need doing without having to fight over them each time.
- Who wants it more? Consider how important this decision is to you and how important it is to her. If it’s obvious that she wants it more, maybe it’s a good idea to bow out and let her have this one. Also, it’s time to figure out why it was so important to argue against something you didn’t have strong feelings about in the first place.
- Remain calm. “Compromise” and “angry” do not go hand in hand and you won’t be able to reach any sort of agreement if both of you are acting defensive and stubborn. Take a moment, consider the other tips on this list, and come back with a solution that achieves the outcome you’re both looking for.
Good luck.
