handle her mood swings
  • | October 4, 2016
Here, we’ll tackle one of the most common problems men face in their relationships: the mood swings of their girlfriends or wives. While it’s usually not a huge, catastrophic problem, these shifts in attitude and affection can often put stress on the relationship, sometimes resulting in bigger issues like full on arguments or even a break up.

Men often view women’s mood swings as entirely irrational; however, they are no more irrational than the mood swings men face when we get burnt out, anxious, or depressed. They are simply hormone-induced changes in the girl’s/woman’s state at that moment, and being able to recognize and respond in a healthy manner is the key to avoiding relationship warfare.

If we had to organize these mood swings in some way, we'd find four major categories:

  1. She is passive and distant. She rejects your affection and doesn’t want to talk. It might seem like she’s angry at you for something and doesn’t want to tell you about it. In this situation, men usually get a bit invasive – they start asking questions, wanting to find out what they’ve done wrong so they can fix it or apologize. And that’s pretty much the worst thing a man can do. If your girlfriend or wife seems distant, just leave her be. If there’s something you’ve done wrong, she’ll likely tell you when she feels like it. If not, you have nothing to worry about. Just give her time and space – that’s what she wants right now.

  2. She is easily irritated and angry. This is the mood swing we usually fear the most. Your ideal actions in this situation are quite clear. If you know something you might have done to upset her, just apologize; if not, stay away. Don’t try to ask her questions, don’t try to calm her down, and don’t try to be too supportive by rationalizing her issues – there’s no point poking a hornet’s nest. If she wants something from you, she’ll tell you. You’ve been angry and irritated at times, too, right? Just think about what that was like. When someone’s angry and emotional, logic usually takes a back seat, so as long as there's nothing to apologize for, it's best to wait for her to calm down. Be patient. Irritate her enough, and she’ll find new things for you to apologize for.

  3. She seems depressed. Now this is unpleasant but easily fixable. A depressive mood swing is just that: a brief period of feeling down. In this case, you want to do the opposite of the previous two situations: give her your attention. We don't mean this in an erotic way, but hug her, kiss her, and try to lift her spirits. Again, don’t try to rationalize her problems and fix them with logic, or her depression can easily mutate into irritation (see number 2). Instead, support her and show her empathy – that will get her out of the hole quicker than anything else. A more active approach, such as taking her on a dinner date, can also be a great step. However, this could prove to be too much effort for her, so choose the activity carefully.

  4. She seems anxious. This is different than the depressive mood swing in that it’s more related to stress. Consider it similar to a work burnout – she feels that she has too many things on her plate, that she can’t deal with everything, and even that she wants to escape and hide somewhere. In this case, simply being affectionate can feel a bit like added pressure, so while showing your love is not a bad thing in itself, your best bet is to take her somewhere. Consider going to a movie, spending the day at a spa, or walking in the park or a near mountain. Find something that will take her mind off things for a while. And unlike in the previous scenarios, if there’s a way to fix some of her problems yourself, she’ll usually be quite happy to let you do that.

So that pretty much sums it up. Learn to recognize what type of mood swing your girl/woman is experiencing, and use these guidelines to figure out what to do from there.

Good luck!