She’s from Venus, and you’re Mars, no doubt about it. Most times your communication skills have to go as far as reading her mind. But no matter if you are the perfect couple or the worse; there is always room for improving communication with your wife. In this article, I will share with you tips you can use today to have better communication with your wife.
- Be Honest! About everything; from the girl you may be attracted to right down to where you are in traffic when she calls frustrated. Practice being truthful no matter how uncomfortable.
- Pay Attention to Her. Communication entails body language, attitude, and tone of voice, so you need to be observant. Think of your wife communicating with you as a computer sending you error messages to inform that something for is wrong. The PC makes a sound when something goes wrong. If the signals are ignored, you begin to notice a difference in the computer performance. After a while of this, the PC may crash if nothing is done. The same way your wife’s cold shoulder or one-word answers are subtle clues that there is a problem. Body language to be aware of: arms folded she is defensive or disagreeing with something you are saying. Finger tapping/drumming she’s impatient. Touching/rubbing the nose is a sign that she is lying or disbelieving of something you are saying. Be observant actions speak louder than words.
- Use “I” instead of “You” Statements. This practice has been instrumental in the happiness of my marriage. Sentences like “I felt unappreciated when you …” instead of “You are so unappreciative” is a useful communication technique which can help you avoid arguments.
- Repeat What You Understand by What She Says. There’s a scenario Wife: “I can’t deal with going to this baby shower tonight. I really don’t think I will go.” Husband: “So are you saying you won’t be going?” Wife: “No. I will go. Just don’t feel like it that’s all.” By repeating what you understand you avoid misunderstanding what she is saying.
- Put Away Your Phone and Other Distractions When Spending Time as a Couple. One way I know I have my husband’s full attention is when I can see both his ears when he is speaking to me. Turn to face your wife when speaking to her to ensure your message across.
- Ensure the Environment is Suitable for Proper Communication. It’s tough to hold back issues that are hot on your tongue to wait till the best time to say it. This drove me crazy when my husband came home and kicked off his shoes anywhere. But I had to learn to relax, greet his warmly, allow him to unwind then bring up the shoe. Instead of letting him have it as soon as he walked into the door. During dinner or before bed while you have pillow talk are great times to bring up issues that affect you (using proper communication techniques).
- Avoid Communication Barriers. Some communication barriers are; negative criticism, sarcasm, preconceived notions, labeling each other, ordering and threatening. Make an effort to apologize when you use one.
- Listen to Her. Most times in conversations we listen to respond and not to understand. We women love to talk. So allow your spouse to finish speaking before you say anything. Repeat what you understand to ensure you understood the point. Don’t raise your voice at your spouse since that can get her defensive and attack. That’s where you can find some other communication barriers coming to play like threatening and labeling. Instead, take a deep breath when frustrated and reschedule the discussion. You can also go for a walk in nature just the two of you to help calm down and continue the discussion.