getting married again tips
  • | October 5, 2016
If you're reading this, you've likely been through a failed marriage at some point in the past. Whether you divorced one year ago or ten years ago, the time will come when you start wondering whether getting married again would be a good idea.

Before you jump into another marriage, here are some basic questions you should ask yourself to make sure this is the right decision for you:

  1. Am I ready to do this again? They say the vast majority of second marriages fail, and one of the most common reasons for this is because one or both people aren’t totally ready to do it again. If you haven’t dedicated enough time to heal from your last marriage and re-examine where your path in life is headed, you won't be fully prepared to move on with a new woman. There is no specific time frame for how long this phase will last – some people remarry in a matter of months while others take years to tie the knot for a second time. The important thing is not to feel rushed into a marriage you're not personally ready for. Sure, you've probably seen other friends divorce and move on with new spouses, but it won't do you any good to compare yourself to those people. Deciding to remarry is a personal choice you can only make for yourself when the time comes. When you've freed yourself from the baggage of your first marriage and feel confident enough to reach for that second chance at love, that's how you'll know when you're ready.

  2. Is this person right for me? Can my new partner and I battle the coming waves together? Another reason many second marriages fail is because the couple is so desperate to get back to the marital bliss they once enjoyed, and they fail to see and account for each other’s flaws and differences. If you've found someone you think you'd like to marry, it's important to first examine your compatibility closely – you’ll often find some aspects in her personality or habits that you'd been overlooking. Just like your first wife wasn't perfect, there will certainly be aspects of your new partner that are difficult for you to accept. Part of a successful marriage is being able to sort through your individual differences and work toward a common happiness. If you aren’t confident you'll be able to address these issues with your partner, know they will get worse over time, and your new marriage will be doomed before the ceremony even begins.

  3. Are your career and finances secure? Whether we like it or not, our finances are a crucial component when it comes to a healthy marriage. If you're currently unemployed or your partner struggles to keep a minimum wage job, getting married at this time is not a good idea financially. Even if you both have job security and steady sources of income, you may still find yourselves fighting over finances and spending habits. If this is the case, marriage won't solve these issues for you. Consider how these problems may become worse if you're a legally-bound couple – you don’t want to end up hiring a lawyer to make settlements for you.

The rule of thumb for second marriages is this: don't rush. Weigh all your options to ensure you're not jumping into something you're not personally, professionally, or financially prepared for. No matter how your last relationship went or ended, marriage is something to be taken seriously and some critical thinking about your life and circumstances is an absolute necessity before you decide to tie the knot for a second time.

Good luck!