Marriage Advice on Building Intimacy in Your Relationship
Building intimacy is an important step in making sure your relationship has long-term potential. Without it, you’ll become better friends or roommates than lovers. Intimacy doesn’t maintain itself. It waxes and wanes, so it takes effort to keep your intimacy alive.

Intimacy comes in many forms. There’s physical intimacy, like cuddling and sex. Emotional intimacy is sharing emotional experiences or bonding. Mental or intellectual intimacy is exchanging goals and ideas. Aesthetic intimacy is enjoying music or a play together. Spiritual intimacy is sharing religious practices or meditating together. And recreational intimacy is playing sports together or taking a vacation.  Here are some tips on how to build intimacy in your relationship so you can protect your marriage against unnecessary breakdown.

How to Build Intimacy in Your Relationship

  1. Schedule date nights. Go out, do something fun or romantic. Take turns planning the date night. Try to mix it up. Don’t do the same thing every week. See a movie one week, have a picnic under the stars the next. It doesn’t have to be at night. You can plan lunch or brunch dates. If you have kids, find a reliable babysitter so you can have time away from the little ones.
  2. Reminisce with each other. Look back on fun times you’ve shared together, or the ways you’ve built a connection. Remind each other how you got to this place. Create lists. The 5 things you appreciate most about each other. Your 10 favorite memories together. The top 3 qualities you love the most. Take turns sharing your lists.
  3. Make time to do nothing. Set time aside every week to be together. This is a time where you have nothing planned. You’re not shopping, going on a date, or doing chores. You’re just spending time in the same room. Whatever happens, happens. Sometimes you have to force it into your busy schedule. No electronics, no interruptions. You can talk, you can cuddle, you can be physically intimate. It’s just you and her, with whatever time you have together.
  4. Talk more. Intentionally talking is great for your relationship. Try to schedule 15 minutes each day to talk. Over dinner, in the morning, or before bed. One long conversation per week will do wonders. Aim for at least an hour, preferably two. You can talk about anything. If you run out of things to talk about, try asking each other questions like, “what are the five things you’re most thankful for right now?” Or, “what’s the most adventurous thing you’ve ever done?” Or, “what one thing would you most like to change about yourself, and why?”
  5. Laugh together. Laughing with your spouse is great for your relationship. It releases endorphins, making you both feel good. Feeling great and being happy together creates a bonding experience. Humor is good for life and good for relationships. Find time every day to laugh together. Make jokes, poke fun at each other, and enjoy your surroundings. Don’t take yourself too seriously.
  6. Over time, building intimacy in your relationship becomes easier feels natural. But it will take effort, and you’ll have to make time. People live busy lives. Oftentimes, your relationship is the first thing to take a back seat in a crowded schedule.
  7. Don’t let life wreck your intimacy. Schedules, work, kids, family, friends, responsibilities. Be proactive. Create intimacy anywhere you can, so your relationship remains at the forefront of your priorities.

Building intimacy is a daily task that shouldn't be treated as an individual chore.  You and your partner should work together and encourage each other along the way.  By walking this path together you will build intimacy, rekindle the spark and transform your relationship!

Good luck