When heading out to college it’s important to remember that higher education is about learning and preparing yourself for the next chapter of your life. It’s also about partying and meeting girls. Let’s not forget that part.
The dating scene in college can be intense and for many of us who’ve never been away from the watchful eyes of our parents, it can lead to some bad decisions. Forget what you’ve seen in college-themed movies. That’s fiction. Here’s the reality.
Here are rules for on-campus dating today:
Good luck.
The dating scene in college can be intense and for many of us who’ve never been away from the watchful eyes of our parents, it can lead to some bad decisions. Forget what you’ve seen in college-themed movies. That’s fiction. Here’s the reality.
Here are rules for on-campus dating today:
- No Still Means No. This is a rule whether you are dating someone on campus, dating in high school or dating once you are out in the real world. Did you know that according to the National Sexual Violence Resource Center, of the course of their college career between 20-25% of women will be victims of attempted or completed sexual assault? Of those women, 9 out of 10 know their attacker. Of those incidents less than 5% will be reported. No still means no. Do not be, or add, to these statistics.
- Don’t be a Jerk. You don’t have to commit sexual assault to be an @#$% when it comes to college dating. Contrary to what you’ve seen in movies, college girls aren’t all horned up sex crazy vixens who want nothing more than to drink cheap beer out of a plastic cup and flash their breasts. Stay in college long enough and you’ll see plenty of that happen but in reality, college girls are just people who are there for the same reason you are- to learn and grow and figure out who they are for the next chapter of their life. Don’t expect “Girls Gone Wild.” You’ll get a reputation as a jerk and no one wants to be around, or date, that guy.
- Live in Reality. The culture shock of going away to school for the first time can be disillusioning and confusing, especially when relationships are concerned. As best you can, try to stay grounded in reality with your expectations of college dating. Odds are you aren’t getting married, spending the rest of your lives together, and raising kids. We know that right now she seems like the greatest girl on the planet and you’d give anything to be with her for the rest of your life but here’s the thing: you’re 18. The “rest of your life” is a long time. Relax.
- Always Be Honest. The social part of college is about growing as a person. It’s also about having experiences and learning from them, both positive and negative. You may be interested in living “the college life” of partying and sex. To an extent, that’s fine. But be smart about it and don’t be a jerk just to get laid. Remember that there are real people involved. If you’re not interested in serious dating and looking to keep things more casual during your tenure, that’s fine, but be up front about it.
- Live In Reality Part 2 – Relationships End. While you’re trying not to go ga-ga over your college girlfriend it’s important to remember that relationships can, and do end. This can be an important lesson, hard-learned. You may make some mistakes along the way and maybe your college girlfriend will as well. If and when a relationship ends whether it’s due to cheating or something else, try to remain calm and move on with your life. Don’t do anything you’ll regret later. Part of being and growing into a responsible adult is knowing when to just move on.
- Use Protection. Take a bunch of 18-21-year old’s, pull them away from their parents for the first time in their lives, give them private rooms and beds to sleep in. Add in the rampant college party life and surely nothing can go wrong, right? Using protection is just plain smart no matter when you become sexually active but college can really be the time to start practicing safe sexual behavior. The last thing you should want as a college guy is to be a dad before you graduate. Think with your upstairs head when it comes to safe sex.
- Remember the Reason You Are Both in College. While college can be a great social experience, you do have to remember the reason that the both of you are there in the first place, and that’s to get an education. Don’t put off your work and studies just so you can spend time with one another. The schoolwork really does need to be your top priority. This way, you can make sure you are both doing great in school and that you can actually get the types of job you want when you graduate.
Good luck.
