So, tonight’s the big night. That young, sexy copywriter from the ad agency on the 34th floor finally said yes to a dinner date. With the way things are playing out, tonight holds a promise of a truly great evening. Unless, of course, you bungle it up by saying the wrong things. Dating can be a lot of fun, but if you're not careful with the way you handle that first dinner, a fun night can easily become awkward or uncomfortable, and you can kiss any chance of a second date goodbye. Be conscious of the fact that this is a brand new situation for both of you, and one wrong move can be the end.
If you're getting ready to hit the town with that new love interest, be sure to consult our list of what not to say on a first date:
If you're getting ready to hit the town with that new love interest, be sure to consult our list of what not to say on a first date:
- “You know, my ex-girlfriend used to...” It doesn’t matter if your ex has figured out a way of printing hundred dollar bills from ordinary bond paper – no one should talk about their exes on a first date. It can make you seem as though you're still hung up on a previous love, and that can be a deal breaker for many women. If you want to make sure your new love interest knows that you've moved on from your exes and are ready to pursue something new, leave past women out of the conversation. This one is a definite no-no.
- “I’ll order for you.” Don’t assume your date would want you to make the decision on what she’d like to eat, unless she’s specifically asked you to do so. At this point, you have no idea of what her tastes or dietary restrictions are. If you were to order something she didn't like, she may be unable to eat it or uninterested in the plate – you could end up ordering something exotic from Thailand when all she wanted is a Caesar salad. Avoid the mix-up, and let her order her own meal.
- “You should meet my mom.” While some women would feel flattered that you’d want to include them in your family life, many would be scared away by this suggestion so early on. This first date is about getting to know each other and having a good time. Getting mom into the picture may sound too serious. Your date might feel like things are moving too quickly, and it may make her feel anxious. She may even ask to be taken straight home after dinner if she feels like the pressure of this idea is too great, and there goes what could have been a night to remember.
- “How much do you make?” To ask this question is presumptuous and in very poor taste. This isn't information that you are or should be privy to on a first date. With a question like this, even if you're asking out of innocent curiosity, you may give the wrong impression about what you're interested in when it comes to this new woman. To make sure your date doesn't feel like her privacy is being invaded, avoid asking about personal matters like financial security.
- “How many children do you want?” This one is even worse than asking her to meet your mom. This statement brings up thoughts of family, marriage, childrearing, fertility, and any number of related topics, all of which are far too serious and pressure-inducing for a first date. Asking about specific plans for her future children is a sure way to seem like you're moving too fast and make her want to run out the door. Keep the conversation light and stress-free.
- “How often do you go to confession?” Religion, like politics, can be a touchy, highly-charged subject. This applies to most conversations with most individuals, but it is especially true on a first date. If religion or political leaning is something critically important to the progression of the relationship, avoid dropping it into light conversation at dinner. Wait until the first date has come and gone, see if things are moving forward, and if they are, that would be the time to start considering a chat about faith and politics.
