When you've said or done something unkind to your partner, whether intentionally or otherwise, it’s natural to feel ashamed and guilty over your actions. Don't ignore the incident, brush it off, or try to minimize it – odds are if you feel badly about what happened, it's because you know you've hurt your significant other. If you want to patch things up and avoid adding fuel to the fire, there are more effective ways to deal with the situation than simply saying, “I’m sorry.”
Here some tips on how to move past this conflict and get back in your partner's good graces:
Good luck!
Here some tips on how to move past this conflict and get back in your partner's good graces:
- Accept responsibility for your actions. When you have an argument with anyone, let alone your partner, it can sometimes be difficult to let go of your ego and apologize. Recognize that, even if the situation isn't entirely your fault, you do carry some of the blame for what happened. Your partner may be just as stubborn about letting their pride go as you are, but someone has to make the first move and resolve heated matters before letting them get out of control. Unless you each want to keep waiting on the other to apologize first, it's best to suck it up, take the initiative, and do it yourself to put the matter to bed.
- Forgive and forget. You may have both exchanged painful words (and perhaps actions) that can make you feel angry, betrayed, and uneasy. Don’t let these feelings consume you to such a degree that you attack your partner or withdraw from the relationship. This won’t do you any good for either of you. Unless it’s something you find truly unforgivable, like an affair with a friend, holding onto that resentment will only be hurting yourself in the long run.
- Reminisce together. One of the most common mistakes you can make when you have a fight with your partner is focus too much on the negative things that have happened and turn a blind eye to the positive history you two have shared. If things are beginning to turn sour, first address your feelings about the situation, then redirect the conversation to something more positive. For example, you could say something like, “I didn’t like that you did or said x, but I loved when we did or said y together.” That way, you can be clear about how the other person's actions or words have affected you while not allowing the situation to dwell in a negative space. Make sure they know, even though you don't agree with or condone their behavior, you are still capable of and willing to think about them positively.
- Give your partner a sincere gift. This can take the form of a small purchase, a homemade creation, or even a donation to a charity your partner supports. Although it’s best to express your remorse with direct words and actions, making a gift or performing a good deed in her name would be a kind display of how you're willing and attempting to mend things.
- Offer physical affection, and suggest you do something together. In some cases, something as simple as hugging or holding your partner's hand can be just the thing to calm the tension between you. Additionally, offering to go for a walk or out to a movie will be a good reminder of all the things you love about each other and love to do together, as well as how much you each value your relationship.
Good luck!
