As a responsible father with a genuine concern for your child, you want to make sure that your daughter develops healthy romantic relationships with others that do not put her mental or physical well-being at risk.

If your teenage (or young adult) daughter has gotten a bf and you suspect that something bad may be going on, there are some good signs to watch out for. The more signs you spot, the more the chances of your daughter being in an abusive relationship—and when things like that happen, you want to take action early before things get too serious and dangerous for her.

1. She is very secretive about her partner. If you ask your daughter about their new relationship and she starts to get secretive or act defensive, like she is trying to hide something e.g. “ I don’t want to talk about this”, “it’s none of your business”, then something doesn’t make her feel comfortable and confident enough to reveal it.


2. She shows physical signs of abuse and may possible try to cover them with heavy clothing or make-up. This is a serious sign that’s enough to put you into serious concern that your child may be physically abused. The first sign may not mean anything but if you have noticed such things more than once and your daughter makes up lame childish excuses for it –or even tries to defend her partner about it, you should be really worried and seek help or deal with the matter directly.


3. Your daughter’s partner appears to be too good to be true. You may have met your daughter’s partner once or twice, and while he seemed like a great match initially, something in your gut tells you that he may not be as good as he appears to be. Many abusive partners will put a very good act in front of others but if you are smart and intuitive enough, you’ll feel that something isn’t quite right with this person. Sometimes, we as parents get too suspicious without any real reason but if you have a consistent gut feeling that your daughter’s partner isn’t what they appear to be, don’t ignore it.

If your daughter seems to display most or all of the above signs, it would be wise to perform a background research on that person and look for any signs that they are dangerous indeed e.g. bad criminal records, history of unemployment or instability, a series of failed relationships, lack of friends,  family issues, etc.

Your daughter may not be ready to admit any sign of abuse so don’t be pushy and try to find from other sources first if the person is potentially dangerous or abusive e.g. from their friends or acquaintances or from public research. Next, try to speak with your daughter without making her feel too uncomfortable—instead be kind and supportive or bring a similar experience you have been trough to encourage her to speak up and reveal whether something has been going on or not.

Good luck.