When people fall in love, they never expect that one day, they might actually fall out of love, but it happens with alarming frequency. You and your partner might have the best intentions when you get together, believing that your sugarcoated, fairytale dreams can come true and that the happiness can last. However, real life often gets in the way and treads on those dreams. The relationship falls apart. It’s never any fun, but when there are children in the mix, things can be far more complicated. It can be very difficult trying to start over as a single dad.

Three most important things to remember when you are starting over:

1. It’s Not Easy. First, realize that it’s not easy to be a single father. Whether you have full custody over the kids, you are sharing custody, or you only get to see the kids occasionally. You have to be able to walk the fine line between being the rule maker, and having fun with the kids. As a parent, especially a single parent, you need to make sure you are listening to your children. Learn about them, connect with them, and help them achieve their dreams. Try to have fun. Yes, it’s hard to be a parent, but it can also be one of the most rewarding things in the world.


2. Never Put Down Mom. Here’s something that far too many men have trouble with when they become a single father. They talk disparagingly about their ex, sometimes in front of their kids and sometimes right to the kids. This is one of the worst things you can do. The kids could resent their mother, or they could resent you. You don’t want either of those things to happen. Their relationship with their mother is important, and you shouldn’t tarnish that with your opinion of her. Keep those opinions to yourself.


3. You Can Still Have a Life. Another mistake that many men make when they become single fathers is that they give up on having their own life. Yes, it’s admirable to put all of your focus on your children, but that doesn’t mean you don’t need any downtime. If you don’t have time to yourself, you might just go a little crazy. When the kids are with their mom, make sure that you do something for yourself once in a while. If you have full custody of the kids, take some time every couple of weeks to hire a sitter and then go out, even if you just go for a hike alone in the woods. You need that time away to recharge.

When it comes to dating again – and you will eventually want to start dating again – it’s important that you are honest with the person you meet. She needs to know that you have children. You love your children and are proud to be their father. Don’t hide the fact that you’re a dad when you start dating. If she doesn’t like it, well then she’s not the one for you anyway.

The difficulties of starting over as a single dad are plentiful. However, when you look at your children, you know that doing whatever they need is worth it.

Good luck.