Moving Friend Zone Tips
  • | October 5, 2016
Ah, the friend zone: the mythical beast that slays so many young men. Let’s tackle it once and for all, shall we?  First off, maybe it’s good to define “getting away from the friend zone” because it can actually happen in several different ways:

  • With a quarrel – this is obviously a worst case scenario.

  • Success! She’s fallen in love with you, and you live together happily ever after!

  • You remain just friends. Not “best” friends, but you stop being her closest confidant and stop torturing yourself.

So before doing anything, think carefully whether you actually want to be with her in a romantic way. It’s strongly advisable, before doing anything else, to get away from her for a while and think. At least for a week. Think about your “ideal partner.” Is that her? There are 7 billion people out there, after all. Is what you’re feeling truly love or just infatuation?

Now, assuming you do love her, you can find a lot of “advice” on the internet:

  • Hit on other girls to make her jealous.

  • Pretend or even lie to make her start thinking about you sexually. This may mean lying about your sex life, your sexual prowess, or anything else that could start encouraging her to see you in a different light.

  • The “dare conversation” wherein you casually mention that you “can’t even imagine her in a sexual way.” It goes like this:

“What? You watch porn?! I wouldn’t have imagined you’d be interested in something so sexual! I’ve never seen you in that way!”

Yes, it sounds ridiculous, and things like that will work from time to time, as bad as that sounds for our species. Not all people are as bright as we wish they were. Do you really want to be with a person who would fall for something that dumb? And would you want to start a relationship on a lie?

Here are some actual tips on how to transition out of the friend zone:

  1. Get in shape. Consider going on a diet, committing to an exercise routine, and changing the lifestyle habits that have you stuck in a rut. Focus on getting out and becoming more energetic. Show that you are both a physically and socially desirable candidate for a relationship.

  2. Create some. Stop being her best friend and giving her all of your attention. Start living your own life and looking for the possibility of love elsewhere. Don’t do it dishonestly - accept that it may never work out, and try to move on. This gives you the best chance of it actually turning out in your favor.

  3. Be a man, not a puppy. Many men are under the impression that if they stay close and follow the lead of the women they're interested in, those women will eventually notice their affection and be willing to reciprocate. However, this puppy dog behavior can make a woman feel suffocated, as if the man is constantly underfoot. If you're the kind of man who jumps whenever instructed to, you may consider being more of a challenge. Make it clear you have your own life, wants, needs, and interests. By doing so, you will make the woman more curious about you, and that curiosity will increase her potential interest.

  4. Stop taking care of her every need. Let her deal with her own problems every once in a while, and ask her for things yourself, as you would a regular friend. This is the Ben Franklin effect:

"A person who has performed a favor for someone is more likely to do another favor for that person than they would be if they had received a favor from that person."

By performing many favors for someone, we start believing we do these favors because we like or are interested in the other person. Put shortly – the more favors she does for you, the more likely it is she'll begin thinking fondly of you.

These techniques will yield better results. She’ll think about you more if you’re a bit more distant. She’ll want to see you. She’ll seek your interest. And by watching you turn your attention toward other girls, she’ll start seeing you in a more romantic or even sexual way, without the need of stupid and dishonest “tricks.”

You can even start suggesting guys to her!  The first thing that will pop into her head is the realization that you’re not interested in her romantically, which will immediately make her question, “Why not?!”

So, yes – keep a bit of a distance between the two of you. Keep being her friend, but stop being her pet, and maybe then you’ll turn into something more.

Good luck!