
Every marriage struggles. Sharing your life with another person will bring up issues that you might not know how to deal with. Divorce doesn’t have to be the answer.
Here are the top 10 biggest struggles in marriage, and steps you can take to avoid them from becoming catastrophic for your relationship.
With honest communication and compassionate listening, most issues can be fixed. Show your spouse you love them by voicing your concerns in a caring way. Take the time to mend your marriage. It’s the one thing in your life that deserves your attention above everything else.
Here are the top 10 biggest struggles in marriage, and steps you can take to avoid them from becoming catastrophic for your relationship.
- Boundaries. Having poor boundaries, or overstepping existing boundaries. It’s important to set clear boundaries in the beginning of your relationship and maintain them through the marriage. Check-in with each other regularly to make sure you’re on the same page.
- Communication. A lack of proper communication leads to problems. Proper communication means having complete, direct conversations about important issues. This includes nonverbal cues, active listening, and handling conflict with respect and compassion.
- Sex. An important part of a healthy marriage is sustaining intimacy. When sex becomes a problem, many marriages start to see things like resentment, trust issues, and emotional hostility. Lives are busy, but make time for it. The bonding that comes with sex is a necessary part of maintaining closeness.
- Money. Arguments about money can turn into fights about other things. Family, values, and habits. Fights about money can bring up issues you’re ignoring (another reason communication is important). Set time aside to work out money differences before they blow up into arguments. Make agreements about money and stick to them.
- Trust. A marriage can’t survive without trust. If one spouse breaks the trust, the only way to mend the relationship is to communicate openly, and possibly get outside help. The resentment and betrayal that come with trust issues is a ticking time bomb. Don’t ignore it; get counseling or talk it over on a regular basis until you’ve reached an understanding.
- Family. Parents, in-laws, sibling, and children. Any type of family can create drama or stress in a marriage. Disagreements happen. How to raise kids or parental responsibilities. Your spouse comes first. Make decisions together. Don’t try to override each other’s decisions.
- Labor. Decide early who will do what household chores. If something changes, make sure there’s an agreement. Don’t just stop holding up your end of the deal. That’s how resentment and anger grow. You’re a team. It’s important that you plan and behave like one.
- Selfishness. When one spouse puts their needs first, the other will feel unloved or unimportant. Eventually, they’ll start to ask themselves why they’re in the marriage at all. Selfishness can lead to issues like mistrust, jealousy, anger and resentment, and abuse. Avoid it by prioritizing fairness in your relationship. Communicate often, voice your needs, and maintain compassion.
- Habits. Annoying habits might not develop until years into a marriage. At best, a bad habit can cause your spouse to disrespect you. At worst it can develop into an addiction and result in an abusive or abandoned marriage. Make sure you talk to your spouse if their habits are beginning to annoy you. Address these kinds of issues early on to avoid escalation.
- Anger. People get angry. But if your spouse goes into fits of rage, something needs to change. You might need to stage an intervention or seek counseling. There may be an underlying cause that needs to be addressed. Left unchecked, it can develop into abuse and destroy any sense of safety in the marriage.
With honest communication and compassionate listening, most issues can be fixed. Show your spouse you love them by voicing your concerns in a caring way. Take the time to mend your marriage. It’s the one thing in your life that deserves your attention above everything else.